What if my 22 month old wrote just one blog post…

If you’re a mom of a toddler, you may be able to relate to this.  If you’re not quite there yet, let this be a warning.  Here’s what I think baby girl’s blog post might say if she could type:

I started out my day in a good mood as usual and bounced happily in my crib when mommy came to get me.  As usual, I gave her a quick hug and eagerly signed for “eat” and “cereal” and what the heck does she do?  She takes me to the changing table to change my diaper.   I lay there like it’s okay (for a second), but she’s aggravating me asking if I want to go get daddy … YEAH that’s what I want to do after I just explained to you I need to eat my cereal.  B****, didn’t you see that crap?  So, I squirm and wiggle until she gets done – I don’t think I threw my pacifier on the floor today. {note to self: do this at next diaper change… we can’t miss the dramatics of the throw and scream-in-desperation move}

Finally, she takes me downstairs and she wastes all this time setting me down to get milk.  Did I say I wanted milk?  I signed “cereal” *stomp stomp stomp*  After she takes 20 seconds to get my food ready, she sits down with me and wants to chat.  I’m sooooo not in the mood to have you looking at me while I’m eating.  Oh, and could you stop taking pictures of me as I shovel this food in my mouth?  We all know I know how to eat – no one wants or needs to see this crap anymore.

Okay, so then we move on to TV time so she can “get stuff done”.  I’m happy again… Mickey’s on.  Suddenly, I realize she’s eating and drinking without me.  What the crap is this woman thinking??  You know I had to get in on that action with a little cry-fest …  and she acted like I just ate!  Um, yeah, like 5 minutes ago… DUH!

So, we’re back to some fun and games and she turns on some music.  I know I said I wanted to hear it and it was okay to turn off the TV, but she didn’t really believe me, did she?  Hey, crazy lady, why is this music on and why are we trying to sing and dance!  I point at the TV and start my whining, getting ever more loud until I’m on the verge of a scream.  She turns on the TV and walks out.  Operation “Drive Mom Crazy in 1 Hour”: Successful!

Well, I don’t think we need to see the rest of the day, now do we?  What do you think your little ones would have to say if they were writing a blog of their own right now?  Go ahead, make me jealous with your tot’s stories of how amazing things are 😉