My husband, who I will call B1, and I married in 2009. I said “I do” to a man who was (and is) my best friend.
I met this man at an event held at a shop that my boyfriend owned at the time. I was only there to meet up with a friend of mine who was participating in the event. She introduced me to a few of her car friends and B1 was one of them.
Have you ever had an immediate connection with someone and just felt comfortable with this person? B1 was lively, witty, and hilariously inappropriate. He was a kid at heart. I enjoyed his presence and the ease with which he made me (and the rest of the world) laugh. Although, if you’re easily offended, B1 is not the kind of person you would like. But, that was exactly what I needed in my life … a friend who hadn’t been overcome by the everyday expectations of adulthood. He was able to make me laugh and he brought out my adventurous and playful side that I’d begun to tuck away.
Our friendship remained strong through my comfortable relationship and he was there for me when I determined being comfortable wasn’t getting me anywhere. Little did I know (or want to admit) he was waiting for me to realize my relationship with the other man, while pleasant, wasn’t IT. When it finally happened, he made his move almost immediately.
The funny part of our story is that his proposition to “date” was almost turned down. I knew I needed his friendship and I was afraid of ruining it by subjecting it to the inevitable changing terms of a relationship. Should things not work out, I didn’t want to lose one of the few friends I enjoyed so much. And, I’d expressed my concerns with another friend that, while I knew he would be fun to date, I didn’t expect him to take life seriously.
I expected that in a few months, maybe a year, I’d be starting at square one. I desperately wanted to marry and have children, so the idea of being nearly 30 and potentially single again wasn’t desirable.
But, I took the chance.
Fast forward to today and we’ve been married going on 8 years in September. Our lives have changed so much in the time we’ve been together.
If you ask my husband, he’ll tell you he’s the lucky one in our marriage. The man has a nasty habit of spending money, trading vehicles almost as much as one changes underwear, and spending tons of money and time on building and racing cars. He’ll tell you he’s lucky because most women wouldn’t put up with it. Not only do I put up with the craziness, I understand and often encourage it. Being married and having children hasn’t completely changed my outlook on the expensive (and sometimes dangerous) choices he makes. And, I encourage and challenge him to pursue greatness and live up to his potential and push for things he deserves. I love him because of his craziness.
While I agree he’s lucky, I wholeheartedly believe I’m the lucky one in our marriage!
I’m lucky because…
I found someone I could settle down with. I haven’t gotten bored of him. How could I? He’s exciting and still hasn’t let adulthood completely change him. He’s thoroughly surprised me with his capability to take life seriously when it’s necessary. We still joke about how I didn’t think he would ever be serious enough for marriage and parenting.
He’s an amazing friend. Our marriage hasn’t changed the fact that we’re still best friends. We talk, we fight, we get over it, and we love each other regardless of our faults and flaws. We don’t always see eye-to-eye, but we’re accepting of our differences.
He encourages me. Not only did we make the decision for me to stay home to raise our children, he encourages me to do things I love. He allows me to do more than be a stay at home mom and pushed me back into blogging because he knew it brought me joy. He was also the driving force to get me into autocross racing when I felt like I was losing my sense of self in motherhood.
I’m loved. In nearly 8 years and after having two children, his love and attention hasn’t faded. I don’t look or feel like the same woman he married, but he never makes me feel like anything has changed.
We adapt and overcome. There are constantly hurdles and changes in our lives, just as any marriage with children can expect. From one kid to two, extracurricular activities, and the changing situations with our ability to have “dates,” we’re always evaluating our lives together and working to make things as good as they can be.
He offers support. Even if he doesn’t understand, he tries to learn and offers his love and support even if he “doesn’t get it.” Without his willingness to learn, I likely wouldn’t have experienced the two amazing natural births I wanted. And, though he doesn’t totally understand blogging, he supports my desire to do it. He’s always supportive of my most important needs (or desires).
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