Let’s have a heart-to-heart about something that I know many of us struggle with: the idea of being the perfect mom, the perfect wife, and having the perfect home. Spoiler alert—there’s no such thing! Over the years, especially as a work-at-home mom, I’ve learned that holding onto unrealistic expectations of myself only leads to stress, burnout, and a sense of failure. But here’s the good news: It doesn’t have to be that way.
The Myth of Perfection
We’ve all been there—scrolling through social media, seeing spotless homes, perfectly groomed kids, and women who seem to have it all together. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we need to live up to those standards. But let’s be real—life is messy, especially when you’re juggling work, kids, a husband, and household responsibilities. Trying to do it all perfectly is not only unrealistic, it’s exhausting.
Learning to Let Go
When I first started working full time, I felt the pressure to keep everything in my life picture-perfect. I wanted to be the mom who could handle it all—work deadlines, semi-clean house, home-cooked meals, and of course, being emotionally available to my kids and husband. But as time went on, I realized that this was an impossible standard. I was spreading myself too thin and constantly feeling like I was failing.
It was when I entered perimenopause and my oh-so-fun midlife crisis that I decided to redefine what productivity means to me.
Instead of trying to do everything, I focused on doing what’s most important and letting go of the rest. For me, that means ensuring the basics are taken care of—laundry, dishes, and food. Past that, I don’t pressure myself to clean the bathroom or scrub the floors unless I have the time and energy.
If something doesn’t get done today, it’s not the end of the world; it’ll get done when it’s convenient or necessary.
Embracing Imperfection
Letting go of perfectionism has been one of the most freeing things I’ve done for myself. It’s allowed me to focus on what really matters—spending quality time with my family, taking care of my mental health, and being present in the moment.
Perfection doesn’t make me a good mom. In reality it was turning me into a terrible mom!
I’ve learned that self-care isn’t about adding more to your plate; it’s about removing the unnecessary burdens we place on ourselves.
Now, when I walk past a cluttered room or a sink full of dishes, I remind myself that it’s okay. My worth isn’t tied to how clean my house is or how perfectly I manage my time. What matters is that I’m doing my best, and that’s more than enough.
Redefining Productivity for Yourself
If you’re struggling with perfectionism, I encourage you to take a step back and redefine what productivity means to you. It’s not about doing everything; it’s about doing what’s most important. Allow yourself to prioritize the basics and let go of the pressure to have everything perfect all the time. Remember, it’s okay to have a messy house, to take breaks, and to not be “on” all the time.
A Healthier Approach to Self-Care
By letting go of perfectionism, you’ll find that you have more time and energy for the things that truly matter. Self-care becomes less about adding more tasks to your to-do list and more about creating space for rest, relaxation, and joy. You deserve to take care of yourself without feeling guilty or inadequate and your family deserves someone who has recharged to be the best version of herself for them. And no one can tell you how to become the best version of yourself!
So, let’s redefine productivity together, embrace imperfection, and focus on what really counts.
Remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect mom or wife—only a happy, healthy, and present one.
If you’re ready to let go of perfectionism and embrace a more balanced, realistic approach to self-care, I’ve created some resources that can help. Check out my Self-Care Worksheet, which is designed to help you identify the areas of your life where you might need to make adjustments and let go of unnecessary stress. For those looking to build a sustainable self-care routine that aligns with your real life (not some idealized version of it), my Self-Care Planner will guide you in creating habits that nourish you without overwhelming you.
Remember, self-care isn’t about doing more; it’s about doing what matters most. Let these tools support you in finding the right balance for your life.
