When you hear the term “self-care,” what comes to mind? For many of us, it’s visions of spa days, retail therapy, or those Instagram-perfect moments of relaxation. But let’s be real—self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, and it definitely doesn’t have to look like what everyone else is doing. In fact, the most effective self-care routines are the ones that are deeply personal, feeding your soul in ways that truly bring you joy.
Redefining Self-Care: It’s About What Makes You Feel Alive
Over the years, I’ve learned that self-care isn’t about checking off boxes on a to-do list or adding more chores under the guise of relaxation. It’s about connecting with the things that make you feel alive, passionate, and fulfilled. For some, that might be a long soak in the tub, but for others, it could be something completely different—and that’s okay!
Finding What Feeds Your Soul
For me, self-care has taken on a whole new meaning as I’ve leaned into my passions.
Automotive racing, for instance, is something that lights me up. The thrill, the speed, the focus it requires—it’s exhilarating and gives me a sense of vitality that nothing else does.
Then there’s my hobby farm with a few chickens that I hope grows with the addition of mini goats in the future. It’s work, sure, but it feeds my soul in a way that’s hard to describe.
And let’s not forget the power of music—listening to Latin music, especially, connects me to my roots and fills my heart with joy.
These aren’t your typical “self-care” activities, but they’re what make me feel most like myself. They remind me of who I am beyond the roles of wife and mother, and they bring a sense of balance to my life that I desperately need.
Letting Go of What Doesn’t Serve You
Part of personalizing your self-care routine is recognizing what doesn’t serve you and having the courage to let it go. Maybe you’ve been trying to fit into a self-care mold that just doesn’t feel right. Maybe the idea of a spa day actually stresses you out because it feels like just another task. That’s okay!
In my hormone program, it was suggested I eat more protein, drink more water, and visit the gym more like 5 days instead of my two so I could get more steps into my day in addition to my 2 days of lifting weights.
More protein ✅
More water ✅
Visit the gym more often ❌
I was compliant with more water and protein because it made sense, I found easy ways to incorporate them into my day, and I knew I needed it. But, I nixed the idea of more time at the gym because the thought of spending 5 days a week there began to feel like a chore. And every time I tried, I thought I would quit the gym altogether.
Knowing I would be caring for chicks anyway, I knew I was going to get more movement so decided that more time at the gym did not serve me and would only overwhelm me.
Self-care isn’t about forcing yourself into someone else’s idea of relaxation or tending to your own needs (we have enough of that as tired moms and wives!). It’s about finding what resonates with you and letting go of the rest.
Follow Your Heart: Create Your Own Self-Care Plan
So, how do you create a self-care routine that’s truly yours? Start by tuning into your heart. What are the activities, passions, or interests that make you feel alive? What brings you joy, even if it’s unconventional? Those are the things you should lean into.
Maybe it’s gardening, painting, or hiking. Maybe it’s as simple as a quiet cup of coffee in the morning before everyone else wakes up. Or perhaps it’s something adventurous, like taking up a new sport or learning a musical instrument. Whatever it is, make it yours. Your self-care routine should reflect who you are, not who someone else thinks you should be.
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A Personalized Approach to Self-Care
The beauty of self-care is that it’s as unique as you are. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. The key is to create a routine that feels natural, joyful, and fulfilling—not like a chore. When you follow your heart and prioritize the things that feed your soul, self-care becomes a source of strength and renewal rather than just another item on your to-do list.
So, forget the cookie-cutter self-care plans and embrace what makes you feel most alive. Whether it’s racing cars, raising chickens, or dancing to your favorite music, let your self-care be a reflection of your passions and vitality. You deserve it!
Ready to create a self-care routine that truly reflects who you are? Start by exploring what feeds your soul with my Self-Care Worksheet, designed to help you identify the passions and activities that bring you joy. Then, use my Self-Care Planner to build a personalized routine that nourishes you and fits seamlessly into your life.
Remember, self-care is personal—there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Let these tools guide you in creating a self-care plan that’s as unique and vibrant as you are.
