Real, relatable tips on how to be a better mom without losing your sanity. From ditching the ‘perfect mom’ myth to embracing self-care, these down-to-earth strategies will help you show up for your kids as your best, most authentic self.
You know those moms who wake up at 5 a.m., do yoga, prepare organic breakfasts, and always seem to have it all together? I don’t think I even know the Insta-famous kind I’m speaking of, TBH. I’m the mom who starts the day negotiating with my alarm clock, can’t function without a cup of coffee, and considers “surviving until bedtime” a victory. If you’re anything like me, you’re not looking for a guide on how to be a perfect mom—you just want to be a better one without feeling like you have to become some Zen goddess in the process.
We don’t need the guilt trips and impossible Pinterest expectations! So let’s skip those and chat about some practical (and surprisingly doable) tips to help you feel like a better mom—even if you’re wearing yesterday’s yoga pants and the kids are eating takeout for dinner again.
How to Be a Better Mom in 11 Surprising Steps
1. Let Go of the “Perfect Mom” Myth
Let’s get this straight: that “perfect” mom you’re trying to emulate? She doesn’t exist. She’s like a unicorn—magical, mythical, and totally made-up. Maybe Instagram makes you feel like you should be baking gluten-free, vegan muffins while doing yoga in a spotless living room, but spoiler alert: it’s all staged.
Real moms lose their cool, order takeout, and sometimes hide in the bathroom just to scroll their phones in peace.
Action Tip: Write down what you think makes a good mom (or, just for fun, ask your kids)—not what Pinterest says. Tape it to your bathroom mirror and glance at it every time you feel less-than-perfect (which is usually after you’ve yelled for the umpteenth time because no one can put their shoes where they belong).
2. Reevaluate Your Expectations
Remember those pre-kid visions of patient parenting, endless fun activities, and never raising your voice?
Yeah, toss those right in the diaper bin.
If you expected to be a mix of Mary Poppins and Supermom, it’s time for a reality check. Real life is more like a mash-up of Home Alone chaos and a coffee-fueled survival show.
Lower the bar.
Now lower it again!
There’s beauty in the messy, chaotic moments when you’re just trying to get through the day.
Action Tip: The next time you feel like you’re failing, ask yourself: “Would I expect this level of perfection from my best friend?” If the answer is no, it’s time to cut yourself some slack and go easy on the expectations.
3. Prioritize Connection Over Correction
If your days are filled with a soundtrack of “Stop that!” “Don’t touch!” and “Put that down!” you’re not alone. It’s easy to get caught up in correcting everything.
But here’s a thought: what if you spent more time just connecting?
Building a relationship based on trust and love will last longer than all the time-outs and lectures combined. Plus, kids are more likely to listen to you when they actually, you know, like you.
Action Tip: Try implementing 10 minutes of “yes time” every day (because a “Yes Day” sounds scary as fuuuuuu****). Just 10 minutes where you say yes to whatever they want to do—whether it’s playing pretend or watching them jump off the couch for the millionth time. It’s harder than it sounds, but it works wonders.
4. Embrace Your “Enoughness”
You know that nagging voice that tells you that you’re not doing enough? The one that says you should be planning more playdates, cooking better dinners, and reading more books to your kids?
Yeah, it’s lying.
You are enough, just as you are. Showing up, loving your kids, and trying your best (even if that best looks like frozen waffles for dinner) is more than enough.
Action Tip: When the guilt creeps in, stop and jot down three things you did today that showed your kids love. They probably won’t be elaborate things, and that’s exactly the point.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Dislike Motherhood Sometimes
Some days, motherhood sucks. There, I said it. It’s okay to admit that you’re not loving every moment, because guess what? No one does!
The repetitive routines, the constant demands, the never-ending messes…it’s a lot!
You can love your kids and sometimes want to lock yourself in a room just to breathe. Both things can be true.
Action Tip: Create a venting system. Whether it’s ranting to a friend, journaling, or using the voice memo app on your phone to say all the things you can’t say out loud—get it out. You’re allowed to feel all the feelings.
6. Let Your Kids See Your Mistakes (And Laugh About It)
You don’t have to be a flawless role model. Actually, being a flawed one is way better.
The next time you accidentally drop an f-bomb in front of the kids, or burn the toast again, use it as a teachable moment. Let them see that mistakes happen, and more importantly, how to handle them with grace (and maybe a few laughs).
Action Tip: The next time you mess up, say it out loud: “Whoops, that didn’t go as planned. Guess what? Moms mess up too!” Trust me, your kids will learn way more from seeing you handle a mess-up than from anything you tell them about not being perfect.
7. Stop Trying to Be the “Fun Mom” Every Day
Trying to be the “fun” mom 24/7 is a one-way ticket to burnout. You don’t need to plan elaborate scavenger hunts or throw Pinterest-perfect birthday parties every weekend. Kids just want your presence (although they think they need your entertainment).
Some of the best moments come from the boring, everyday stuff—like eating cereal together or chatting about nothing on the way to school.
Action Tip: Schedule some “boring time” this week. Yep, just sit on the floor, play with their toys, and let them lead the way. No big plans, no agenda—just be there. You’d be surprised how much “boring” can turn into bonding.
8. Practice Self-Compassion (Seriously, You Deserve It)
Why is it so easy to be kind to everyone but ourselves?
When we mess up, we beat ourselves up for days, but when our kids mess up, we say, “It’s okay, honey, try again.” Next time you’re tempted to pile on the self-criticism, think of yourself as one of your kids. You’re learning and growing, too.
Action Tip: Start each day with a self-compassion mantra like, “I’m doing the best I can,” or “Today, I will show myself the same kindness I show others.” Then go forth and believe it. (Bonus points if you stick it on a sticky note where you’ll see it often.)
9. Redefine “Productivity” (Because You’re Rocking It, Trust Me)
If “productive” to you means completing 1,027 tasks in a day, then no wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed. Raising kids is the definition of productive—it just doesn’t look like neatly checked-off boxes on a to-do list.
You’re shaping tiny humans here! Give yourself credit for the stuff that really matters: keeping them fed, safe, and occasionally brushing their hair.
Action Tip: Create a daily “Mom Wins” list. Write down everything you did, from “hugged the toddler” to “didn’t lose my cool when the baby threw food on the floor.” You’ll be surprised at just how much you accomplish every single day. Because honestly, moms are superheroes—you just don’t wear a cape.
10. Make Self-Care Non-Negotiable (Because “You Time” Isn’t Selfish)
I know, I know—you’ve heard it a million times: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” But when exactly are you supposed to refill that cup when tiny humans are glued to you 24/7?
The truth is, if you don’t take time for yourself, you’re headed straight for burnout-ville (population: one… unless you end up with multiple personalities).
Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant. It’s not just bubble baths and spa days. Self care is personal, whether it’s a 10-minute walk alone, hiding in your car to read in peace, or blasting music that doesn’t include Baby Shark for once. It’s about recharging your battery so you have something left to give.
Action Tip: Schedule one tiny thing you love every day—whether it’s a quick workout, a 10-minute journal session, or simply locking yourself in the bathroom to breathe. Treat it like a meeting with your boss (because happy mom = happier family). Keep it simple and make it happen. You deserve it.
Motherhood is a crazy, messy, exhausting ride. But don’t let the chaos trick you into thinking you’re not doing an amazing job. You’re showing up every day, trying your best, and loving your kids the best way you know how. That’s what makes you a better mom—imperfections and all.
11. Stop Comparing Yourself to “Perfect” Moms on Instagram (They’re Faking It)
Scrolling through social media, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only mom barely holding it together while everyone else has clean houses, smiling kids, and somehow always looks showered.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s all filters and good angles.
No one’s posting their kid’s epic meltdown or that pile of dishes they’re avoiding (although if we all did, perhaps we could end the mommy wars!).
You’re comparing your messy reality to someone else’s highlight reel—and that’s a losing game.
Action Tip: Mute or unfollow accounts that make you feel like crap, then take a second to appreciate your real life wins—like getting through an entire day without stepping on a LEGO. Now that’s impressive.
Being a “better” mom isn’t about mastering every parenting hack, making gourmet meals, or keeping your house spotless (ha, as if!). It’s about showing up for your kids, even when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and running on cold coffee and crumbs. It’s about loving them through the chaos and forgiving yourself when things don’t go as planned.
If you’re trying your best—even if your “best” sometimes looks like bribing with screen time or serving cereal for dinner—you’re already doing an incredible job. So, cut yourself some slack, embrace the mess.
Your kids don’t need a perfect mom; they just need you—the real, messy, loveable, trying-her-best you. Keep being awesome, one imperfect day at a time.
2 comments
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